(sung to the tune of Love Potion #9)
I took my troubles to the Alchemist.
You know -- that Merlin with the golden wrist.
He's got a pad down on Cedar made of pine,
Sellin' little bottles of Green Potion #1.
I told him that I was a flop with chicks.
I've been calcinating since 1956.
Just can't dissolve, separate, or ferment!
He said, "What you need is Green Potion #1."
He stood up, turned around, and gave me a wink.
He said "I'm going to brew it up right here in the sink."
It smelled like rotten eggs; it looked like India ink.
I held my nose; I closed my eyes. I took a drink.
I didn't know if I was out or in.
I started craving mercury, salt, and tin.
But when I ate some copper and silver just for fun,
I knew that I had finally reached coagulation ...
'cause of Green Potion #1. Green Potion #1!
by the Alchemy Workshop class at the Omega Institute (August 14-18, 2000)
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